I will Survive

On the days when I feel lonely, even in a room full of people, I will survive.
On the days when it's sunny and I want to wander to the beach with my sister or girlfriends, I will survive.
In the moments when I am lost, and home seems even further away than the moment before, I will survive.
When I am practicing my instrument and start to feel inadequate, I will survive.
When I check my bank account and there is, by no stretch of my imagination, enough in there to meet my obligations, I will survive.
When gigs require my time and energy but don't pay a dime, I will survive.
When the cupboards are bare and my tummy is growling, I will survive.
When the kids I take care of have nothing nice to say to me, I will survive.
When I feel like I am not good at my job, I will survive.
On the days when the weather is relentless and seems that it is out to harm me, I will survive.
When everyone and there mom wants my money, but no one wants to pay me any, I will survive.
When my favorite pair of jeans gets a whole in the knee, I will survive.
When trying to learn guitar makes my fingers bleed, i will survive.
When I book a gig and the tip jar is empty at the end of the night, I will survive.
When I play a gig and it does not go well, i will survive.
When I write a song that nobody likes but me, I will survive.
On the days when I can't get out of the house on time and seems I am rushing to EVERYTHING, I will survive.
On the days when the tour bus breaks down in the middle of the south, i will survive.
On the days when the paparazzi are in my face, I will survive.
When I can't decide which major country artist to sign with, Keith, Taylor, Carrie, or Rascal Flattts, I will survive.
When all the fashion magazines want to interview me and get my beauty secrets, I will survive.
When my hand starts cramping from signing autographs, I will survive.
When one of my song hits number one, and comes just shy of the record holder, I will survive.
When my dressing room has poor lighting, I will survive.
When I can't see the audience because of the bright lights on the stage I will survive.
When I can't decide which charity to donate millions of dollars to, I will survive.
When I fly my friends and family out to see me and cant help but smile on stage, knowing they are in the audience, proud as can be of me... I will survive.

Thank God for creating me to be a dreamer. Thank God for giving me the strength to endure all that comes with being a dreamer. Thank God for giving me a family and a network of friends who support my dreams. Thank God for the constant reminder that no matter what the situation, I am not in it alone, He is there, and I will survive.

Bunny's, Tornadoes and Ducks! OH MY!

The Easter Bunny finally made his way to Tennessee!! And with him he brought some of the worst storm weather and tornadoes I have ever seen in my life!! He definitely made an entrance! BUT! he didn't leave without leaving me a package!!!

Thank you so much Bob, Sally and Sarah! Your generosity knows no bounds! I love you all!!! THANK YOU!

In other news....
Today there was another severe tornado warning. Tornadoes touched down in a few surrounding areas killing 2 and injuring at least 35. The storms that blew through today were like nothing I have ever experienced. In some areas there was hail the size of baseballs. Rain poured down almost all day, thunder and lightning joined with a sky of dark clouds made for an exciting and scary day. Sirens sounded downtown at least 5 times today. It's scary, but God is good and my friends and I are all okay. This is tornado season, and we still have a few more months of it to go, with the peak months being May and June. At least it makes life a little more interesting!!

In other, other news...
Today is also good friday... and what made it an even better Friday was the Ducks clinching their spot in the playoffs this year! Way to battle boys! What a game against the STARS! they really needed this win, and they pulled it off in a sudden death shootout! Thanks to Getzlaf and Selanne being unreal!!!! and HILLER!!! IT"S HILLER TIME!

My First Tornado Warning

It happened today. A tornado in my area. It touched down a few miles away, and fortunately did not pass through my immediate neighborhood, but I will admit, I was scared. The weather was stormy most of the day. I was home by myself all day getting a kick out of the thunder and lightning going on. The rain was really pouring down! I asked a friend who lives a couple of towns away if she was gettin all this stormy weather too? she said it had passed her but that the news said a tornado had touched down in Davidson.Well... I live in Davidson County! So I got a little nervous! 

River worship

Here is yet another glimpse of why I love my new church The River. As a musician and a Christian, worship music has not only been a huge part of life as a musician, but of course in my relationship with God. Sometimes when I pray I feel that my words are not enough, that they cannot fully express my love for my savior. So, I burst into song. I sing my love for him, I sing of his amazing creation. Of his unfailing love. Of his unending grace. Sometimes even more than worshipping God with my own voice and hands raised, I am blessed by watching others. I could watch a body of believers worship all day and weep. It just blesses me. At the River, I experience God in a new way every time I show up. Being in Nashville, I expected that music would be awesome in all the churches, but I am truly blessed to have found this church. Donny and Reba McGuire are the pastors, and as if they weren't enough talent to make me excited, their daughter Destiny often leads worship and there are no words to describe this. She is amazing and if she were singing the phonebook, I would still sit and listen. She has a true heart for worship and a voice that could have only been given by the creator of the Universe. Here is just a little bit of a worship service. Below I showed you the dance team that also blesses my soul every sunday. I literally look forward to the dance every week! In this video clip, one member of the dance team dances during this song, (one of my favorite songs) and it just showed me how much talent is at this church and how ready they are to serve and worship God with these talents. Enjoy!

The River

Since living in Nashville, I have been attending an amazing church called the river. I just wanted to share with you a few glimpses of why I love this church so much!

Places that remind...

Okay, so being in a new place is always fun and exciting. But sometimes you just need some familiarity in life! I think that is just how we are wired as humans. When I went on my journey to Australia at the adventurous age of 23, my sister said to me,"take something with you that's familiar, that reminds you of home.. you will need it." I took with me my mickey mouse pillow case and my raggedy andy doll, tattered and warn and full of sentiment. Mickey Mouse pillow case? you ask with eyebrows raised and that judging tone in your voice. Yes. And here is why. Not only was there an annoyingly saturated disney theme in my room growing up, but it was a pillow case, where I layed my head to rest everynight in my stress free environment as a child. I brought it and it helped. Even though I was across the globe, when I layed my head down at night, I was reminded of home and a sense of security and peace. The raggedy Andy doll? Well, even prior to the annoying disney phase, my sister and I shared a bedroom in our old house in Norwalk ( it wasn't as ghetto when I was 5). There was an over saturated theme in that room as well. You guessed it, raggedy ann and andy, complete with red shag carpet to match their hair, sheets, curtains, and so much more. Well as a gift one year when we were much older, my sister bought me an original Andy doll from an antique store, and she bought herself Ann. Though it was not the same doll I grew up with, it had been loved just as much and it's almost better because my Andy has a bit of mystery to it. But I brought that with me more so because it just reminded me of my sister... probably the closest person to me... right up there with "the girls".

I say all this to say that living in Nashville has been awesome, as stated in the previous blog. I am just now getting to the point where I wouldn't mind a trip home... some familiar faces, places, smells, sights.... But there are things here in Nashville that remind me of people back home and it brings a smile to my face, and a bit of heartache because I would love to share these experiences with the people they remind me of. Maybe some of them I actually will!

Franklin, TN: a quaint little downtown area in a ritzy part of town. People among the likes of Keith Urban have been known to meander down this way and one of my favorite bands, Paramore happens to be from Franklin. I visited this place with my friend Naarah from the band Alabaster Box yesterday and I loved it! All I could think about was my bestie Sarah, who would have totally loved this place and would have had an awesome time there! The antique shops, clothing boutiques, and little mom and pop coffee shops, bakery's and stationery shops. A must for her when she comes to visit!

The predators game: I went to see my Ducks take on the Nashville Predators at the Sommet Center. If you know me, you know hockey has become a big part of my life... It made me miss Nate, and even Marcel and Ed a little bit because I spent so much of hockey season cheering along side these people.

Hillsboro Village: Alot like downtown Glendora, and therefore reminds me of "the girls" and out little outings there, and lunch at Village Eatery... from college all the way through to now with baby in tow!

The River: The church I am attending. An amazing church! Talented musicians and pastors who take me back to the days at my uncle's church that I don't know I miss until i get another little taste of it! This place is a place I would love for my whole family to experience. My sister especially would enjoy this! And Donny and Reba (rambo) McGuire are 2 people from back in the day that my mom knows and loves. She would love it there too!

Music Row: this little stretch of small suburban looking houses turned into music label offices and production studios always remids me of my brother who would love to explore and talk to people there.

If I could bring everyone out here for a visit I would. I love it here and would love to share in all these experiences with the people I love, but alas, that is the journey. Taking steps on your own and using what you've learned from past experiences and what people have imparted into your life to help guide you along the way. It's bitter sweet to be having so much fun here. I have made new friends, but there is something about being around the people who know you best. I am lucky to have suck amazing friends and family. They are supportive and encouraging and always there if and when I need them. Thanks all! and come visit!!!

Nashville.

Well folks, It's been a while.. but just don't think about it. I'm here now and that's all that matters. I've been in Nashville now for about a month and half... almost 2 months actually. Wow.. what a journey it has been! Since I have been here I have had a job and lost a job, dated a boy and dumped a boy, played some bass gigs, booked some gigs, turned down some gigs, met people, forgotten people.. and here I am. I love it here! Nashville is like a big city with a small town feel. Everytime I meet someone, I figure out that they have some connection to someone else I have already met. It's awesome. I played my first gig with Steve Virginia at 3rd and Lindsley... a pretty sweet little venue downtown. It was a great experience! Just this past weekend I played a gig with John Michael, a Christian artist... that was pretty sweet too! 

I've met so many people, I wouldn't be able to name them all, but some interesting ones have been the entire Lady Antebellum, who I've had the pleasure of hanging out with a few times, Carrie Underwood, I got to go bowling with her..kinda weird... and several others. Producers, managers, you name it.

I can honestly say that this was the best decision I could have ever made for myself. I am so happy here! I have made great friends, found an amazing church, and I'm pursuing my dream! I'm doing life the way I think it should be done... and let me tell you... there is Joy and freedom  in that! 

I do miss my family. I talk to my sister often.. not enough. We video chat and I can see her pregnant belly gettin bigger and bigger everytime! And bubba... goodness gracious! she's gettin so big, she is going to be an awesome big sister! She loves helping mom out, and she starts home school in the fall. She's so smart... I can't stand being away from her, but I will be home for a week in June!

I'm sure I will have much more to say in the coming months, but for now I just wanted to say, that I love it here and I'm having a great time. I talk Sarah's ear off everyday, I don't know what I would do if she didn't have verizon! Thanks for listening sarah!